


Taking responsibility

by kutsushita



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Misogyny, Treat, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kutsushita/pseuds/kutsushita
Summary: Armin knows he's not responsible. But that doesn't stop him from taking responsibility.





	Taking responsibility

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aansero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aansero/gifts).



Their mission was successful, but for some reason the words kept ringing in Armin's head. What that prisoner had said, the one who felt him up when he was in disguise. He wondered if it were really true, if he were really "responsible". He worried about it sometimes, in the dull moments, when they weren't about to be eaten by titans or facing some other catastrophe. Worried that something was wrong with him. That he lacked something other people had. Empathy, maybe. How else could he think the way he does? Disregard the impact on individual people and detach himself from all his emotions, view situations like he was far above it all. Maybe this was his fault too. Maybe he really did do something bad. Turn someone into a pervert? Well, that man had already been prepared to assault Armin when he thought he was a girl. Anyone would say that made him sick and perverted already. But Armin had volunteered for this mission, had dressed up like Historia. He had intentionally deceived their captors, and of course, he hadn't had any thought at all about how they as actual people might respond to that. He had just thought of them as targets, pawns. A means to an ends. Like always. 

"Haaaah... You came." 

It was dark, but Armin could see the outline of the man inside the cell. He swallowed, and didn't respond. He didn't know why he had come here. There was no reason for him to feel bad, to feel responsible for anything. This man was a bad person to begin with, their enemy, and had already been ready to rape a bound and defenseless girl before he ever knew she was really Armin. If he was somehow changed by having attempted assaulting a disguised boy instead... Well, he had brought it on himself. 

"Haaaah... Well? Are you going to come in? You can see, can't you? I'm still like before, ahhhh. They tied me up so I can't even touch myself. I've been thinking about you all day. I can't think about anything else. You've ruined me. Aren't you going to do something about this?"

Armin's face felt hot. His eyes were adjusting to the dim light of the cells and he could see the man better now. The gag was hanging loose around his neck, undone again, apparently. His mouth hung open as he panted, and strands of spit stretched down his chin. His arms were bound behind him and he sat on the floor in the corner of his cell, his back to the wall, legs bent and awkwardly spread apart in front of him. His trousers were tented with arousal. 

Armin swallowed before opening his mouth. "I didn't do anything to you. You did this to yourself. You're the one who molested me. I'm not responsible for you." He knew everything he was saying was true, and yet somehow he felt like he was trying to convince himself. And if he believed all of that, why had he come here in the first place?

"It's true. I'm, ahhh, I'm a bad man. I would have lifted up your skirts and had you right there in front of your little boyfriend. Would have filled up your hot little cunny and licked those soft nipples on your pert little breasts until they got small and hard and then I'd have bitten them until you cried out." The man awkwardly shifted his hips around on the floor, trying to thrust his groin up into empty space. "I'd have fucked you good and raw and left my seed dripping out of you there on the floor. I'd done it before. But." 

Armin's head felt fuzzy. His breaths were coming more quickly. There was no logical reason for him to _be_ here, nor to stay and listen to this. Yet his legs wouldn't seem to move. 

The man moaned, more saliva falling from his mouth, a strand breaking away and dropping to the floor. "But that was normal. It's normal to fuck girls. You may think I'm a pervert, but, ahhh. Everybody does it. When a girl is alone with a man like that, when she puts herself in that position... It's normal." 

"It's NOT." Armin's body felt taut, his hands clenched into fists." It's not... Good people don't do things like... like that. You're sick."

"Like your survey corps? Like your whole military? How many girls in that army you think got their legs pulled apart during basic training, hmm? Behind the soldiers barracks. Afterwards. How many give it up to their commanding officers like the sluts they are?" 

Armin couldn't argue. He... He knew... Of course he had known that it happened. Oh, never Mikasa, no one ever tried it with her that he knew of, and if they had they would have regretted it. Ymir knew the kinds of things that went on, and never let Krista far out of her sight. But of course, Armin had heard talk. From other trainees and from full-fledged soldiers after they graduated and enlisted in the survey corps. Eren had always seemed oblivious, too focused on his goals to notice that kind of background noise, but Armin paid attention to everything, and he knew. And of course it bothered him, but what could he do about it? A low-level soldier like him? Even if he gained in rank, how hard would it be to implement broad intuitional change about something like that? In the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter. The most important thing was defeating the titans, ensuring humanity's survival. All else was secondary: morals, being a civil society. Worrying about individuals. They didn't have the luxury of that. So Armin, of course, let it happen. Just Iike everyone else. 

Which made him responsible.

"Ahhh, see. You know I'm right. I can see it. But now, now." The man groaned. "I never fucked a boy before. Never even touched one. And now I can't stop thinking about it. Can't focus on anything else. Can't even touch myself, like this, this..." He jostled his arms behind his back. "You have to do something for me. You did this to me. You have to help me." 

"I-I... I didn't..." Armin swallowed. He tried to ignore the growing tightness in his pants. He was used to doing that. If he ignored it, it would eventually go away on its own. 

"Please," the man panted. "Please. I might never be normal again. You've ruined me. You have to do something about it. Just... Just come in here, look, come in and touch it. Take responsibility." 

Armin didn't understand what he was doing. He hadn't had any reason to even come down here in the first place. But the key had been easy to lift from the inattentive guard, and he was now turning it in the lock. It didn't make any sense. He KNEW, logically, he knew that everything this man was saying was wrong. He had never forced the man to do anything. And yet. And yet. Somehow, still, it felt like his fault. It happened because of something he did. Like all the consequences of his plans, disregarding the impact they might have on any single unimportant individual. No matter how small. Even if just turning a degenerate rapist into a slightly more degenerate one.

"Yes, ahhh, god, please." The man was writhing in his corner, humping his hips up into the air, erection straining at the front of his pants. Armin stared at him, unable to believe his own actions, then turned around to re-latch the cell door behind him. 

Stars exploded behind his eyes in sudden pain as his head smashed into the metal bars. Armin tried to cry out, but all the breath had gone out of him. His arm was twisted behind him, and there was a heavy weight against his back, and then his head hit the bars a second time. He felt himself being pulled to the floor, rolled onto his stomach, and all he could do was moan lightly. 

"Haaaah, Haaaah." The man was above him, pressing him down with his hands. Hadn't his arms been tied behind his back? Armin's mind was swimming and he couldn't focus. 

"Haaah, Haaaah." Armin felt the hands reaching around him, under him, lifting his hips off the ground. Then he was released, but it wasn't until he felt the bare floor against the front of his groin that he realized his pants and underwear had both been pulled down.

"No," he croaked out, trying to push him up, to turn over. But a strong weight was pressing down on his back. "No."

Hands spread his ass cheeks apart, and he heard something that sounded like spitting. It was all the warning he got before something huge was shoved inside him.

Armin screamed. There were spots in his vision and his entire body seized up. He would have gone on screaming, but something was stuffed inside his mouth, and his head was pushed down hard, smacking against the floor and held there. It felt like he was being stabbed, and it didn't stop. The man pulled out, then pushed in again, a rapidly pistoning pace, stabbing into him over and over. Armin thought he might black out. He couldn't manage to even try screaming anymore, lying there limply, as the man kept panting heavily, fucking him. 

"Haaah, yes," the man moaned out above him. "So good. So so good. This is, haaah, even better than fucking a cunny. I'm never going to be able to go back to that again. You changed me forever, haaaah. It feels so good fucking you, tearing open your little hole. Gonna fuck you until you can't walk anymore. Gonna fill you up with my seed."

Armin tried to remember to breathe. It didn't hurt quite as much now. Was he getting used to it? Or was he bleeding? He could feel something slippery back there, but with his face held down he couldn't see anything. Only the dingy tile of the dim cell.

"You wanted this, didn't you? You dirty little whore. You came all the way down here. You, haaah, came into my cell. Fuck, ha-AHHHH!"

He thrust forward harder than before, one, two, three times. Armin felt like the wind got knocked out of him each time. Then the man released a loud gasp of breath, and his thrusts stilled.

Armin was shaking. The man pulled out of him, but his ass still felt like it was on fire. Something was dripping out of his asshole, running down to the edge of his thighs. He wasn't sure if he had enough strength to get to his feet.

But at that moment, a voice rang down the corridor of cells. The guard. He must have heard Armin's scream.

"Here, I'll help you out," said the man. Armin tried to jerk away as he felt those hands on him again, but he hadn't the strength. "You did do something nice for me, after all." He was pulling up Armin's underwear and pants, refastening them. Flipping Armin over and pulling him into a seating position, leaning him against the bars of the cells. He finished setting him there just as the guard arrived.

"What's going on here!" the guard exclaimed, angry, bursting into the cell.

The man with the gag held his hands up easily. "Nothing, nothing. We were just having a little chat."

The guard turned to glare down at Armin. "What happened? Did you steal my KEY?"

Even after what had just happened to him, Armin's mind was already starting to work again. The man had redressed him. Hidden the evidence. It wouldn't do Armin any good if people learned that he had been raped, especially if they knew he had let it happen by putting himself in this situation for no apparent reason. "I'm fine," he said. "I... got a little dizzy, while we were talking. I was just sitting down until I regained my balance. I needed to talk to this prisoner here. We thought he might have some important information." He turned to the guard. "I did lift your key. I'm sorry. It was confidential. Special intel for Captain Levi's squad."

The guard didn't look any happier, but he did look a bit less tense. At least this was nothing he would get in trouble for, which was probably what he cared about the most, Armin reasoned. "Well... Fine," he said. "But you should have asked me first. I thought maybe one of the prisoners was escaping."

"I'm sorry," said Armin as sincerely as he could muster. He tried to gauge whether he could stand again yet. It was a risky proposition, but he thought he could pull it off.

"Here, let me give you a hand," said the prisoner. Armin only froze for a split second, and then forced a smile onto his face, thanking him and accepting the outstretched hand. The man pulled Armin toward him as he dragged him to his feet, and with his much smaller weight and strength Armin couldn't resist him, felt himself pressing into the man's side as an arm slipped around his back, reaching down to grope at his buttocks, which were faced away from the guard at the opening of the cell. Armin did his best not to show any reaction.

"So, were you done? I really need that key back," said the guard. He seemed impatient to get out of the cell and back to his post.

Armin opened his mouth to tell him yes, but the prisoner beat him to it. "Actually," he said at the same time that he slipped the hand caressing Armin's buttocks under the hem of his pants and underwear, squeezing in awkwardly, clawing at his bare flesh and making Armin stumble to the side to regain his balance. "I still have some very important intel for Levi's squad. We'll need a while longer. Probably an hour at least." He grinned. "You can just lock us in here together and come back later if you're worried about me running away."

"That sounds fine to me," said the guard. He was already walking toward the cell door, obviously happy to be away and leave them to it.

 _Wait_ , Armin wanted to say. _Don't just… Don't LEAVE me!_ He tried to think of the right words, the most convincing thing to say to stick to his story, but at the same time, the drooling prisoner now had his hand fully down the back of Armin's pants, digging the tips of his fingers into the tender inflamed skin around Armin's hole. If he made a scene now, his cover story would unravel. What kind of trouble might he get in if everyone learned the truth?

In the end, his indecision was really a decision after all. The guard locked the cell door and disappeared down the hall, and Armin said nothing. Maybe, he thought, he was trying to punish himself. Once the guard was out of view, the man pulled Armin against his body, panting wetly onto the top of his head, pushing a fingertip past the ring of muscle inside Armin's hole again. Armin shuddered.

One hour.

"We're going to haaah, have so much fun," said the man, and Armin took responsibility.


End file.
